12/12 Thursday
Mom leaves at 8:00 a.m. Please distract the children while I am attempting to leave. They will cry and cling to me and I don't need that kind of guilt before my trip. Tell them I am at a meeting whenever they ask for me. For some reason, adults going to meetings seem to calm them down.
Big kids: 9:30 a.m. study group at Panera. Give
them a check for $60 for
Spanish teacher because I forgot it last week, actually I remembered but was too lazy to write it when I remembered.
They will get a ride home from April’s dad (they will arrive home around
5:00). Remind 13 year old to bring his Spanish book because if you don't, he will conveniently forget.
Also, smell both kids and make sure they don’t stink. One or two will probably stink, make them go back and shower/put on deodorant and brush teeth and hair. Make sure they eat something other than an apple for breakfast and that they pack a lunch. Check their lunches because they will most likely just put another apple in a bag.
5 year old: Co-op at the Y 10:00-12:00. Make sure he is wearing underwear (he won't be, you have to bribe him to put some on). Girl
goes to child watch. She does not like
to go, you have to get there early and bribe her with something awesome like a
donut, or candy or possibly a pink pony.
Boys class is in the same building as gymnastics. Bring a water
bottle for him. You have to stay
and help. Also bring a bag of Beef Jerky for the homeless bag (don't ask).
If you think of it, you can fill up the large thermos with coffee for the other
moms. They will love you and think you
are a good man. Not that they wouldn't think you are a good man anyway. I totally have not been speaking bad about you.
5 year old: 3:00
speech therapy. Sanitize
both kids well afterwards because there are all sorts of stinky, sick kids
there. Sing loudly to them in the car on the way there and back because if you don't, they will fall asleep and then stay awake until midnight. You can't sing songs with the real lyrics either, you have to make up weird lyrics to popular tunes. If you throw the words cotton candy, poop and tooting in the lyrics then you will totally keep them awake.
Fit
homeschooling in wherever you can.
12/13 Friday
11:30- Play called Holiday Heroes with little kids. Be there fifteen minutes early. Directions are attached. Heather is your contact, tickets are already
paid for. Genevieve will be there too
but she might act like she doesn’t know you for fear of you leaving the kids
with her.
2:00-5:00- 13 year old works. You drop him off and pick him up. Make sure he doesn’t stink.
6:30-8:30- Kids craft night. Little kids are selling blinged gloves (in plastic bag
attached). $2 a pair. 15 year old and his friend are selling baked
goods. Bring cash for little kids to buy gifts for the family. They will want to buy stupid things, make sure they buy non-stupid things.
Do
homeschooling when you can fit it in.
12/14 Saturday – 13 year old CAP awards banquet 12:00-2:00 in the museum on the
base. $5 each, pick up his girlfriend on the way. Make sure he doesn’t
stink. He will be testing after so bring
all appropriate uniforms (you know about this military attire, I do not so I
have nothing attached). His camp
application is attached. This MUST be faxed
in no later than Monday!
Give 5 year old boy his
chemo. Give him anti nausea pill a few hours before
and another before he goes to sleep. Put
a vomit bucket next to his bed just in case.
12/15 Sunday – Give boy ½ pill leucovor in
morning and another anti nausea pill.
Nothing else
for Sunday! You can use this free time
to clean the house, wash the towels, do the laundry and make some freezer meals
to be re-heated during the holidays.
12/16 Monday- 10:00 little
kids have gymnastics. The girl will want to dress wildly
innapropriately. You must force her to
wear shorts or sweat pants over her leotard.
She will not want to. I suggest
bribing her with a purple pony. Both kids will be excited about going but when
you get there they will refuse to go out on the floor because it seems that they suddenly develop some sort of gymnastics phobia. Do not give in and leave because they will cry for the rest of the day that you didn't let them go to gymnastics. They are weird jerks in this manner and I suspect a little insane. Bribes and/or threats work well. Make sure they sanitize well afterward
because those other kids are nasty.
1:00- Speech therapy.
Remind kids that when they enter the building, it is not a competition
to get to the top of the stairs first, they are not to stack pillows on top of
random children in the playroom, play behind the playroom door or close the
playroom door. (Trust me, if you don’t remind them of these things they will do
all of the above). Oh, and screaming is frowned upon by the people that work
there (that includes the kids screaming and your screaming…not that I ever
scream).
Homeschooling
when you get home.
OK, I will
arrive home that night. Please have a 4 course dinner waiting for me, ironed
pj’s on the bed and a dark chocolate truffle on my pillow.
Oh, we also
have a dog…..I’m sure you will remember to feed and water him but thought I
would mention it just in case. If you
could also give him a bath that would be awesome. And house train him please because I can’t
seem to figure out how to do that.
Have
fun! You are awesome! This is totally easy! You will have lots of free time to do your projects! I love you!
